Well, the new semester of college has begun and I’m stressed out to the MAX! I am still working both jobs - one full-time and one on part-time relief status, and my courses have begun at the University. I’m taking three classes, one of which has a lab along with it. The class which includes a lab is one of the most challenging for my major and the other two have a lot of reading, papers, quizzes and exams as well.
I hope I have not bitten off more than I can chew. One good thing is that a lot of the work I need to accomplish can be done online, via “Blackboard” and “Webct,” so I can putter around here in my office doing some school work unbeknownst to my boss! lol He’s also out at a training for the rest of this week! WOOHOO!
Anyway, I apologize for my lack of posts the last couple weeks and for the remainder of the semester in advance.
Things are going okay with bf right now, but I have to divulge an incident that happened Friday night, much to my embarrassment: We were driving home from the town where he works and I began to tell him a story about someone I knew years ago near his house; this was way back when I was married. Bf accused me of lying because he said he knows everyone who has ever lived in that neighborhood! Instead of just hearing my story - it was a funny anecdote, I thought - he started yelling and getting in my face while I was driving! So I put up my arm to block his advances and push him back into his seat and he pushed back saying that I punched him, then proceeded to continue yelling, name-calling, and getting in my face…. so I pulled the car over, and… I punched him in the face. :( I’d never hit anyone, even in self-defense, in my life. I felt awful for having done it, but it actually made him stop hollering and he remained on his side of the car the rest of the drive. I didn’t speak to him until Sunday evening. Instead I focused on my studies. When I saw him Sunday he said he thought I broke his nose, but he was okay. I hate that this happened. I really wish we could communicate in a HEALTHY way, but it seems like things just get worse when we try to talk. He doesn’t like to talk. He likes to yell. I love him, though, and I know that his issues aren’t his fault (or mine, I do realize), but I don’t know how to get to a point where we can just be adults with each other instead of screaming two-year-olds having temper tantrums.
I’m not breaking up with him; just so you know. I know a lot of you are reading this, and without the emotional investment, you think I should just kick him to the curb. However, that’s not going to happen. I adore bf, despite his faults and I know he feels the same about me.
I’ll post more as time permits. Meanwhile, peace.
