So for some reason I keep calling bf every morning to give him his 5am wake up calls. I don’t know what possesses me to keep doing it. He wants me to be ‘just friends’ with him now, but I obviously want more if anything at all. He probably thinks I’m being a friend to him by calling, but I can’t figure out how to stop. He told me Sunday night that he’s lost his alarm clock and I wouldn’t want him to miss work because of it, so I call.
Over the weekend, I didn’t call him at all. I talked to him on instant messenger some because there can’t be any yelling perse and neither of us can interrupt the other. It’s the perfect form of communication! So I let him know on IM how I felt about his ‘friendship’ with his exgirlfriend. I don’t feel comfortable with him talking to a girl he’s been involved with, especially since all the signs are there that she’s still interested in him as much more than ‘friends.’ He doesn’t seem to understand that, or he doesn’t care. Either way, it’s disheartening.
So I’m trying to distance myself from him so that maybe he’ll see that he’ll lose me altogether if he doesn’t cease his contact with this other woman. However, the wake up calls…. Well, if I keep calling, it’s like he still has the upper hand, isn’t it? How do I go about stopping this pattern?
As George Costanza says, I just want ‘hand.’
