He hasn’t spoken to me since last Sunday morning.
I’m sitting at my desk today trying not to cry. Saturday night he finally called me and broke the silence. … because he had hit a gardrail on the highway and wanted me to pick him up. Hurt and confused, I said no. Our neighbor DID go get him however and I packed a bag in case I needed to leave the house because I was afraid of how angry he would be when he got home. I took his cell phone b/c the battery died and he threw it against the house in frustration when he got there, so since I bought both of our phones and pay the cell bills, I didn’t want to take the chance of it getting rained on, stepped on or destroyed by him.
I didn’t go back to the house yesterday because I was still angry and upset and afraid he would be more pissed that not only didn’t I go get him, but I also took the phone. I did go this morning though, it’s so hard to stay away. I thought maybe after he’d had time to think and realize what was happening, he might apologize. I only stopped for 20 minutes though because he was still sleeping in bed. I touched his hair gently because, my God, I miss him so much. My heart is broken and I am so emotional.. He just said, “Don’t fucking touch me” and moved away from me.
I know there’s no way to “fix” things, but I just don’t know how I’m going to pick up and leave. I love him so much, or at least the man he used to be, and letting go is making me literally sick to my stomach. I wish there was some way to make things right again, but I guess it’s too late. So I’m working two jobs, school starts for me next week and now on top of it all, I’m sleeping on a girlfriend’s couch with no sense of “home.” You have no idea how depressed I am. I need something to give, somehow…
I’m going to call the neighbor across the street and ask her if she & her husband will try to talk to him again. He needs to be woken up before all our love is completely destroyed.
I have tried so hard…………….. 
