I’m so glad I came to this website to blog about my experiences. Everyone here is so honest and helpful. Thank you for reading and commenting and advising.
I know I’m not ready yet to give up, though. I wish I could say, “YES! You’re RIGHT, I SHOULD leave right now!!” But, I’ve known him for eleven years and this is the first incident where he’s been pushed to the point of striking, and it wasn’t a beating, but eye poking, threatening and I was held by the throat for an instant. NOOOOOOO, I’m not justifying what happened or making excuses. Please, don’t think me ignorant.
What I need is advice on how to get him to talk to me without escalating things. How to turn things back to the way they were in the beginning. If a man brings you flowers to say he’s sorry for yelling in the first months of a relationship and it works, why doesn’t he know to do things like that again later in the relationship? How can men forget like that?
How can they be reminded without telling them what to do? Are there magazine articles I could leave somewhere that he’ll see? I need to know what makes him tick and how to bring back the man I fell in love with so many years ago. I know he’s inside this creature of stone I now live with, but I need someone to help me find him. I’m forming a search party. Bring your flashlights, bloodhounds, magnifying glasses and metal detectors (for the steel plate that is apparently in his skull these days).
I’m okay in the house. He’s not a monster, just someone that lost control. OH, and I liked the advice about him needing therapy. I’ve been saying that for a while. I’m going to have to work on that as well. I have insurance that covers such things and if I can convince him to go to couples counseling (how do I do THAT, btw??), I’m sure the therapist will see him individually sometimes too.
This is all a good start. Thank you.
